Gone

Loretta pushed the balls of her socked feet into the dashboard in front of the passenger seat, squeezing her quadriceps until they shook. She closed her gritty eyes and willed another car to emerge from the darkness. Something other than soft rock to float out of the radio. A new piece of gum to materialize in her dry mouth.

The cold air coming off the window hung by her shoulder and upper arm. She moved her hair to block the chill, an impromptu shawl. Loretta watched the moon follow them for awhile, bright and low in the sky, then turned to glance at Mick. He was leaning into the steering wheel in an awkward, uncomfortable way. On another night it might have been endearing. Might have caused her to reach out to him, put her smallish hand on the thickness of his neck and massage the tightness that permanently resided there. But tonight it was only annoying. Mick mouthed the words to a power ballad she'd never heard before, his lips moving slightly behind the music.

She felt the hollowness of pure exhaustion in the depths her belly. A crawling restlessness started in her calves and worked its way up into her solar plexus. Loretta pushed against the dash again, feeling the dense foam give under the pressure. As soon as she closed her eyes, she heard it. A deep, sickening thud began somewhere near the front of the car, moved closer to her side, then was gone. The car shook a bit, and swerved slightly as Mick instinctively pushed on the brakes.

He whipped his gaze to meet hers, eyes confused and startled, "What was that?"
"How could I possibly know what that was? I'm not the one driving! You didn't see anything?" Loretta felt her hands shaking and she was embarassingly aware of the strange yelp she'd made at the moment of impact.
Mick turned to look out the back window into the darkness, "No...whatever it was came out of nowhere."
Loretta shifted slowly in her seat, "Or...maybe your reflexes are a little slow tonight."
"What?" His chin jutted forward and his mouth tightened.
"I'm just saying maybe you had one too many drinks tonight." Her heart pounded, but her voice remained steady and calm, she was ready for this fight.
"I'm fine." he said sharply.

Loretta could feel his rage in the cold darkness of the stopped car. The air between them was tight and thick. He pushed the door open and swung his legs out in one swift movement, slamming the door hard enough to make the car rock. Loretta shoved her feet into her clogs, wrapped her too-big jacket around her chest, hands shoved deep in the pockets and got out of the car. She walked around to the front of the car to inspect the grill and hood and saw nothing. No dent and thankfully, no blood. She was still shaking, nervy from the collision and her accusation. The 20 degree temperature wasn't helping. She intended to appear cool and distant, righteous even, and something about her chattering teeth and shaking knees belied her.

Mick's heavy boots pounded the asphalt as he made his way down the center of the lane. Loretta knew he must be cold without a jacket. She watched as he walked into the sickly, yellow glow of the street light. His shoulders were high, close to his ears, and he was pumping his fists as he looked into the darkness for what he may have hit. Loretta watched the broadness of his back, the concerned tilt of his head and swallowed hard. She felt instantly guilty. It had been an unnecessary dig, accusing him of being drunk. If she'd been really worried, she could have driven herself.

She moved quickly to match her smaller strides with his large ones until she'd caught up and they were facing each other, "See anything?"
He shook his head slowly, "Nothing..." His eyebrows were furrowed and his eyes darted across the invisible horizon.

Each turned where they stood, an odd, slow dance of disconcertion and anxiety. Loretta and Mick strained their eyes into the darkness and their ears into the distance. They kept turning until they faced one another again. She reached a bare, shaky hand from her warm pocket and placed her fingertips lightly on his chest. She felt the cushion of his chest hair underneath his thin shirt, the quickness of his breath. He turned his face to hers and exhaled long and deep. A thin, colorless fog moved from his mouth and rose up to fill the space between them.